i don’t talk about you in therapy anymore
or if i do, i don’t falter over your name like it’s a loose cobblestone,
i don’t shake. i swallow the city. i swallow the sea,
so maybe this time i’ll get it right.
i’m alright now. i thought it would all be gone, i thought the floodgates would open and the water would rise and that would be the end of everything. that it would all be lost, washed away with the sinking of the tide, nothing but… floating bones and squabbling crows, picking over the rot. i thought the world would fall away,
but it didn’t. the trees still grew. the roots held tight. the leaves whispered hymns, never losing their voice. and i never lost mine. it’s not the day of salvation, it’s just another day.
and all the deluge ever did was help me learn to float. and i’m alright now. i thought i never would be again,
i still have trouble sleeping. i still think about the flood most nights. i still think about black water. but the sun rises anyway, just as we do. we get up. and we go on, as we always have, since the beginning. and i guess that’s the point. it always seems like it’s over. it always seems like you’re running out of time, or it’ll be raining forever.
Portland shoegaze that plays, as the best representatives of the genre do, with huge, hollow atmosphere against intimate observations. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 23, 2016
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A mixtape of songs from artists who performed at the feminist collective's recent second satellite festival in Stockholm. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 13, 2018