1. |
pangaea
01:41
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our futures are our own
our futures are our own
our own
olive branch between your lips,
olive branch between your lips and
i’m sinking
bed of gopher wood and calm saltwater
oh,
this is a trust fall.
drowned girl,
the flood banks;
the great wide
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2. |
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i said i’m not sure if i'm
more scared of
death itself or
just dying alone
you said don’t panic, baby,
maybe one day we’ll die
but first we’ll make
a home
the sky is purple bruised
and clouded over and
you’re pointing out dragonflies
and local ghost hauntings,
a heart snaps clean in two
and out pours cold saltwater
and wanting,
oh, wanting
this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and oh, oh, oh.
we watch the airplanes dance
below the haze, cause the sky’s too sick
to show us stars, but it’s enough,
and you whisper my name.
the light pools in the nooks and
crannies of your face and your
cheekbones are mountains and your
eyes are window panes.
i taste blood and call it cherry,
you taste blood and call it wine.
thoughtless and broken,
seeping moonlight, cracked visages,
and your laughter.
lost to time.
this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and
maybe it’s a lost cause to stare at stars that aren’t there
and the dragonflies will die within the week
and it’s so loud when the rain bellows, sunset clouds dripping
the richest red i’ve ever ever seen
(if you're starving to death, can you eat your own limbs?
you don't look like home anymore. i don't think you ever did.
to what extent can righteousness through violence be morally justifiable,
and you said, you said the blood tasted like wine and i argued for cherry but it's saltwater, really, it's always been saltwater
and i've never wanted to die so why would i write about jumping in front of trains for fun,
and will getting angry even change anything? will it?
and how could i be so goddamn arrogant as to think this could mean something? to someone?
to anyone?
so what am i really scared of, then? death, or dying?)
and this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and oh, oh, oh
(and hey, sometimes i wanna jump in front of the MTR just to look into your eyes a little longer.
and that's the thing.
it's always been you.)
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3. |
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she calls me nervous
i call her blind
she calls me burnin’
angel fire, angel sigh
she calls me traveler
never lingering, nowhere to call home
she calls me turning
planet
map on my wall pinned with places left to go
and it scares me half to death
laughter on her breath
painted pink and yellow in the sunset
and it’s raining, just a little
there’s a beach in south lantau
where the waves lap soft as my hand on yours
where rabbits sleep in the moon
and i can be with you
she calls me nicknames
and it’s funny, i’ve never wanted one before
she calls me artist
but i’ll never paint a picture like the ones she describes to me,
she calls me noah
i build her boats when it’s raining, and the typhoon floods the forests,
she calls me nothing,
grey smoke and i can’t hear her over the wind and the crying and black water
and it scares me half to death
ruin on her breath
painted blue and silver in the moonlight
and it’s raining, just a little
there’s a beach in south lantau
where the waves crash hard as my lips bleeding into yours,
where rabbits sleep in the moon
and i can be with you
i remember lying
in a children’s playground
looking up at the clouds
pretending the stars are out
secrets on both of our tongues
the night is still so young
we are both so young
we were both so young
and it scares me half to death
sweetness on her breath
painted white and orange in the sunrise
and it’s raining, just a little
there’s a beach in south lantau
where the waves brush against the shore, and everyone is smiling,
where rabbits sleep in the moon
and i can be with you
there’s a beach in south lantau
where the waves lap soft as my lips into yours,
where rabbits sleep in the moon
and i’m up there with you
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4. |
floodwater
03:17
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i guess fluidity scares me
nothing’s the same as it
was half a year ago
make me
an ocean of identity
who cares what’s inside of me
i guess it
just goes
to show
i guess
nobody really
knows
my kingdom for a kindness
my kingdom for apologies
forever falling apart and starting again
and it hurts when it shouldn’t, it hurts,
my kingdom for a breath
a welcome pause in all the screaming
what happens when the death
doesn’t want the grieving
my kingdom for a body
to see what i believe
a body as a kingdom
to do with as i please
please
call me as i like
as i like,
(YOU COLOSSAL ASSHOLE)
you can’t say
i can’t build myself
into what i want because
WE
DESERVE
WHAT WE
CREATE,
AND WE
CREATE
OURSELVES
my kingdom for a kindness
my kingdom for apologies
forever falling apart and starting again
and it hurts when it shouldn’t, it hurts,
my kingdom for a breath
a welcome pause in all the screaming
what happens when the death
doesn’t want the grieving
my kingdom for a body
to see what i believe
a body as a kingdom
to do with as i please
and what do you know of kindness
what do you know of apology
what do you know of bodies
what do you know of me
i’ll leave you to grieving
the person that i used to be
i’ll leave you to believing
i’m nobody
because i know who i am
i know who i am
(my kingdom for you)
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5. |
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feet swinging
saying push me, push me
summer dusk
and i’m not scared, not scared
bee stinging
we don’t know the words
does it taste so sweet
anymore
youth like a flicker
bitter coffee, say you don’t care
has anyone ever ever cared?
i hope so
birds winging
it’s clouding pink and purple
there were no paragraphs about this
in the puberty books they wrote
oh, oh
this is living,
drinking soda
on a rooftop, on my rooftop
who said we were ever cool
streets of hanoi
streets of the west side,
it’s light out at midnight, at midnight
sunrise forever
i’m sad
who isn’t sad
looking out from the point at stilled seas,
bruised knees, and i know
oh, i know
we’re all so afraid
no one’s gonna love us like we think they should
it’s light out at midnight
bruised knees
stilled seas
crushing sky
love, love love
like a creeping vine
feet swinging
saying push me
push me
who said we were ever cool?
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