things the dove can hold inside its beak (girl, one)

from by continental drift

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lyrics

i said i’m not sure if i'm
more scared of
death itself or
just dying alone

you said don’t panic, baby,
maybe one day we’ll die
but first we’ll make
a home

the sky is purple bruised
and clouded over and
you’re pointing out dragonflies
and local ghost hauntings,

a heart snaps clean in two
and out pours cold saltwater
and wanting,
oh, wanting

this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and oh, oh, oh.

we watch the airplanes dance
below the haze, cause the sky’s too sick
to show us stars, but it’s enough,
and you whisper my name.

the light pools in the nooks and
crannies of your face and your
cheekbones are mountains and your
eyes are window panes.

i taste blood and call it cherry,
you taste blood and call it wine.

thoughtless and broken,
seeping moonlight, cracked visages,
and your laughter.
lost to time.

this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and

maybe it’s a lost cause to stare at stars that aren’t there
and the dragonflies will die within the week
and it’s so loud when the rain bellows, sunset clouds dripping
the richest red i’ve ever ever seen

(if you're starving to death, can you eat your own limbs?
you don't look like home anymore. i don't think you ever did.
to what extent can righteousness through violence be morally justifiable,
and you said, you said the blood tasted like wine and i argued for cherry but it's saltwater, really, it's always been saltwater
and i've never wanted to die so why would i write about jumping in front of trains for fun,
and will getting angry even change anything? will it?
and how could i be so goddamn arrogant as to think this could mean something? to someone?
to anyone?
so what am i really scared of, then? death, or dying?)

and this is
something like heaven
wondering, drenched in
rain in the ocean,
your hand on my hand,
a moment in stasis
chapstick smile so graceless,
tasting cherry balm and bubblegum
and oh, oh, oh

(and hey, sometimes i wanna jump in front of the MTR just to look into your eyes a little longer.
and that's the thing.
it's always been you.)

credits

from gopher wood, released April 17, 2017

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continental drift Vancouver, British Columbia

somewhere on the pacific. sixteen and sad about it.

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