1. |
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i know the big bang
she told me nothing
i know how matter only moves itself around
i know the first cells
they lived and didn’t know
split themselves in two, code of their nuclei
i know the roots digging
trees singing out, oh
i know the bite of oxygen to lung
i know the meteor
i know the blood in birds
i know the stirring in the after
i know the phillio
i know it hurts to wonder
so we stop and stutter and don’t talk about it
i know the mangling
i know the snap of the
synapse, i know, i know, i don’t want to know
i know that it doesn’t matter
whether matter really matters
we don’t have to mean anything at all (if we don’t want to)
i know the taste
of my own tongue
maybe that’s all i’ll ever…
(you don’t need to hear this shit.)
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2. |
sore thumb
03:43
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everyone would hate me if i just acted my age
oh well, it’s too bad i’m a shell of
a man reading, dimly lit, trying to flip the next page
but trembling with the thought of acknowledgements
to follow, the misery of misremembering all the names of
the women i never felt safe enough
to touch, so i tapped them in morse code until they became
just equations, just softer things to sing about
no one to tell us we’re prisoners,
bodies that trap us in prisons regardless
and there’s nothing to say to the listeners
hounding our words just for praxis and process
feelings to gawp at
i can’t hold the world up but i’ll still feel crushed by the
weight of it falling, sometimes i’m just so
big picture, it’s comforting, something to long for but
never to act on, with hands that are this small
so speak truth, get lucky, and smile when you’re tired
and dream of a life where your fists could be useful-
where you could be useful, be loud when you want to,
act with a tenderness you’ve never known
no one to tell us we’re prisoners,
bodies that trap us in prisons regardless
and there’s nothing to say to the listeners
hounding our words just for praxis and process,
and we’ve got nowhere to run but to melody,
maladies seizing our cells while we try to behave,
atlas shrugged it off easy but i still
look over my shoulder and cry when it all falls away
none of us sacred
cyclical, sickly and still, seeking fineries
none of us make it
maybe in whispers and maybe unsavoury
lives lived in waiting
kissing in alleyways, missing it, every time
trying to be patient
we’ll try, again and again and again and again
we’ve got nowhere to run but to melody,
maladies seizing our cells while we try to behave,
atlas shrugged it off easy but i still
look over my shoulder and cry when it all falls away
(pushing uphill both ways)
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3. |
pillbugs
02:27
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just wanna be some lichen on a rock!
just wanna curl up! and be some lichen on a rock!
fuck jobs! let’s dance
(or not, that’s fine too)
hide out in our pillbug shells
and find something to do
we all need a purpose,
so what if mine’s releasing spores?
i’m tired of being nervous
to decidedly avoid wanting more
just wanna be some lichen on a rock!
just wanna curl up! and be some lichen on a rock!
maybe love’s the answer
maybe it’s just a word
and honestly i think true love is
hanging out with the worms
it isn’t bad to be soft
(mycophycophytically)
we could be moss,
blow everything off
just wanna be some lichen on a rock (with you)!
just wanna curl up! and be some lichen on a rock!
just wanna write some extended metaphors!
for the endless cycle! of missing what you’re looking for!
just wanna be, and not be something more!
just wanna be me! exist, that’s all i’ll ever need!
i wanna live, and that’s all for now
i’m gonna live and i’m gonna be happy
i’m gonna be happy
just wanna be some lichen on a rock!
just wanna curl up! and be some lichen on a rock!
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4. |
underemotion
03:59
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i’ll kiss the hand that feeds me
i’ll take the hand that leads me
i’ll feed the birds
i’ll leave the words to someone better
i’ll sing what i don’t know yet
i’ll sing what i’ll never know, yet
i’ll pretend to prophecize
blind seer saying hopeful things and hoping that it sticks
i’m too young to know what’s good for me
i’m too old to think about pretty things
i’m a dreaming child
pity my pride
isn’t it easier to lie in bed and think about the sun exploding?
isn’t it easier to lie in bed and think about the sun exploding?
the overthink and the under-emotion
anger is ugly, so go through the motions
love nothing enough
it’ll hurt no matter what
let them bite and let them bark, and
let it pour, and build the ark
two by two and hand in hand
push it off the sandbar and stay on land
so i’ll leave the talking to the real boys
cut myself up for you to enjoy
oh echo i know you
(oh echo, i know..)
isn’t it easier to lie in bed and think about the sun exploding?
isn’t it easier to lie in bed and think about the sun exploding?
isn’t it easier to lie in bed and think about the sun exploding?
isn’t it easier to lie awake and dream about the sun?
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5. |
roadkill
02:56
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if you were starving to death
could you eat your own limbs?
if you carved out your hollows,
would you feel thin?
if you were starving to death
you’d look like roadkill
violets only shrink
if you were starving to death
you’d finally be human
real as the rest of us
if you were starving to death
they’d stop staring
if you were starving to death
you could bear it
if you were starving to death
could you eat your own limbs,
if you carved out your hollows,
would you feel thin?
if you were starving to death
could you eat your own limbs,
if you carved out your hollows,
would you feel thin?
if you were starving to death
could you eat something,
could you just fucking eat something
for once, you're a child, skin and bones,
oh, you are a child.
if you were starving to death
could you eat your own body?
if you were starving to death
could you be somebody?
(hollows, hollows, hollows…)
if you were starving to death
could you eat your own body?
if you were starving to death
could you be somebody?
if you were starving to death
could you eat your own body?
if you were starving to death
could you be somebody?
(if you were starving to death
could you be your own body?
if you were starving to death
would i be somebody?)
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6. |
continental drift
02:04
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nineveh’s got nothing on the cities of my mind
wanting the great wide
sick of being swallowed, can’t flood out what’s rooted to the ground
so grow around
the sky’s gonna show you some beautiful things no matter where you go
go anywhere but home
drowned out
it’s gonna be alright someday
gotta drift apart to come back again, oh-!
a future of our own
the world’s end
again
the world’s gonna end
(again?)
and then?
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